A LOVE LETTER FROM POPPA Posted on November 28, 2023

On the occasion of his 70th birthday, Glenn Wagner writes a love letter to his two grandsons about seven helpful life lessons he’s learned over seven decades of faith.

GLENN M. WAGNER
Michigan Conference Communications

Your Poppa is getting old. I turned 70 in October. This big number is way older than you are now.

When I was your age, and even many years after I married Nana in 1975, I had to ask someone for directions if I were traveling somewhere new. We also had a book of maps called an atlas and a company known as AAA (American Automobile Association) that helped us with written directions for our longer trips so we wouldn’t get lost. We didn’t have smartphones, Google, or satellites to help us find our way.

I pray for you both to have long and rewarding lives. I hope to live a lot longer so I can continue to be an active part of your lives. Nana and I have enjoyed being present at your births and watching you grow. It is fun for us to do things with you, like swimming, going out to eat, shopping, playing, rocking, and reading. You have wonderful parents. We love to be with you through visits, FaceTime phone calls, and regular prayers.

You are too young to understand this fully, but someday, I pray that you accept these thoughtful words from your Poppa as a 70th birthday gift from me to you. Here are seven important lessons from my life’s journey that have helped me find my way and that I hope someday can also be helpful to you.

We harvest what we plant.

The Bible teaches this important idea, which has been confirmed true in my own experience. You already know this from watching your Mama and Dada. They planted seeds in the spring in the garden boxes on the side of your house, and then you enjoyed delicious ripe beans and tomatoes from those seeds. Your Mama and Dada also share those vegetables with others, an act of kindness that helps grow stronger friendships.

~ photo courtesy Glenn Wagner

This idea of harvesting what we plant didn’t originate with your parents. Nearly 2,000 years ago, a follower of Jesus named Paul offered this lesson that teaches the same idea about planting and harvesting in his letter to the Galatians in the New Testament of the Bible: “Do not be deceived; God is not mocked, for you reap whatever you sow” (6:7, NRSV). Sowing and reaping are the Bible’s words for planting and harvesting. This idea refers to much more than planting seeds in a garden. When Paul talks about sowing and harvesting, he also refers to the choices we make with our time, relationships, behavior, and resources.

The idea of planting and harvesting is even older than Paul’s. In the Old Testament of the Bible, a man named Job, while considering his own life, shared a similar idea: “As I have seen, those who plow iniquity and sow trouble reap the same” (Job 4:8). Job knows that sometimes people plant bad things with their actions and their harvest is usually bad too.

Making good choices does not always yield good outcomes, but generally, I have learned that this piece of biblical wisdom is worth following. There are real consequences to the choices that we make. I have seen others misbehave, and the results can be tragic. Similarly, I have seen how people who choose to live after the example of Jesus have been a blessing to others. For me, planting love has been proven to yield positive results. So, looking back and living forward, “God, help us aim to love like Jesus.”

As you grow, I hope you will choose to be good brothers to each other and good sons to your parents. Be good friends with others and choose to use your talents to help grow a loving and caring community. That way, you can help harvest good things for your present and future.

There will be conflict.

I wish everybody could get along with each other. The idea of unity was in Jesus’ heart when he prayed for his followers (see John 17 in the New Testament). Jesus’ dream of everybody working together is also shared by Paul, who wrote a letter to his friends and said, “There is no longer Jew or Greek; there is no longer slave or free; there is no longer male and female, for all of you are one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). When you get older and take time to read the letters Paul wrote in the New Testament, you will also find out that achieving this unity was not easy for Paul either.

We should hope for and work for peaceful unity in our family, with our friends, in our communities, and in our world. But I have lived long enough to know that life has people who act badly and situations where conflict is unavoidable.

Not everybody chooses to live for the good of all. Some people choose violence to get their way. Some people disobey laws that have been established for the common good. Some people make bad choices for themselves and others. Some people are selfish. Whenever conflict occurs, God’s people must remember Jesus, who teaches love. I am proud that our ancestors decided long ago to take a stand for freedom in America, to oppose slavery, to campaign to give women the right to vote, and to support civil rights for all. Both my father and Nana’s father, who are your great-grandfathers, fought in World War II long before you were born to oppose the evil deeds of a man named Adolph Hitler. I never wish for conflict, but I want you to know that if you ever find yourself in a situation where conflict is happening, I hope you will remember to stand with the loving example of Jesus and work for the good. Some of life’s most important lessons and strongest relationships are learned in the trials of our conflicts.

God is greater than our worries and more eternal than our fears.

Many of the stories in the news and many of our leaders stir up fear. I am grateful for my faith in a God who is bigger than the world’s greatest fears. Do you know that 84% of people in the world believe in God? Do you know that the universe of which our planet Earth is a small part has been expanding at the speed of light, 186,000 miles per second, since the first instant of creation and that life is built into the design of this universe? I find comfort and inspiration from believing in God, who is made known in Jesus. The Bible teaches that Jesus loves you. God is bigger than all our troubles. History, thankfully, offers multiple positive examples of how to face our fears with courage and faithful living.

In God’s math, everybody counts.

The world is filled with examples of the idea that some people are more important than others. If you have lots of money, are musically, athletically, or artistically talented, are physically attractive, are healthy, or enjoy the benefits of political power, you will find support from history books and other admirers affirming that you matter more than others.

Jesus teaches a very different idea about life and who is valued in God’s eyes. Jesus loves the poor, heals the sick, feeds the hungry, accepts sinners, and welcomes all kinds of people into his circle of acceptance. Jesus’ crucifixion is remembered in the Bible as a sacrifice of eternal consequence for the sins of the entire world. Jesus’ love is open to all who accept it. Even though many think that God only loves a few people our world finds important, the Bible teaches us that God’s love is bigger than ours. Jesus’ teaching and example challenge me to stretch my understanding and circle of love to include many more.

Choose to honor God by respecting commandments.

The Bible teaches us that about 3,400 years ago, a man named Moses climbed a mountain and received the Ten Commandments from God as laws for his people to follow. (Read about them in Exodus 20:2-17 and Deuteronomy 5:6-21 in the Old Testament.) In 1993, Nana and Poppa took a trip to Egypt and visited that same mountain. On top of the mountain, with the vast Sinai wilderness visible, it occurred to me that without these Ten Commandments and a willingness to obey them by the Hebrew enslaved people who were recently freed, there is no way that this new community would have survived together in the harsh desert.

These basic laws continue to help us all live together by establishing important boundaries for our behavior and decision making. In the Bible, Jesus is remembered as teaching an expert in the law about the two greatest commandments that further clarify God’s essential laws for our living:

“Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?”

He said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets” (Matthew 22:36-40).

Life has given me daily opportunities to choose how I spend my time and resources. I have found God’s commands worthy of my respect and reliable guides for living.

Give yourself permission to grieve.

At 70 years old, I need glasses to help me see the little stuff and hearing aids to assist my listening, but I know now for certain what was less apparent in my younger years: Death will happen to all of us, and it is closer for me now than when I was your age. In over 40 years of ministry as a pastor, I was privileged to conduct an average of 15 funerals each year to honor the lives of loved ones who have died. I have received more invitations to funerals this year than to birthday parties! A by-product of death’s visitation to our circle of friends is grief. When our beloved Boston Terrier, Mitzi, died suddenly earlier this year, Nana and Poppa cried a lot. Since her death, there have been regular reminders of Mitzi’s absence from our lives, and we will always miss her.

My faith in God has taught me that there is an eternal dimension to life that gives us hope to face death with courage. But I know it is okay and necessary to permit myself to grieve the loss of loved ones when death comes. God is big enough to hear my grief. I have learned to share my tears, anger, fears, and doubts with God. Nana and I have also learned that it is healthy for us to be supportive of others who grieve through listening, being present, and helping as we can. Sixty-five of the 150 psalms (songs) in the Bible are psalms of lament, passionate expressions of loss. Psalms of lament remind us that sharing our grief with God and each other has always been a part of our faith. I have grown in faith through my grief and have been helped by the loving presence of others during these times of grief. I will never forget a ministry mentor who interviewed me for a hospital chaplaincy position, asking me his first question, “Where are you hurting in your life?” When I later asked the man who became my boss at the hospital, “Why did you ask me first about where I was hurting?” he replied, “Because if you told me that you had not hurt in your life, I wouldn’t have bothered to hire you as a chaplain at this hospital. The people who come here for healing are all hurting, and you need to have the capacity for caring about them, and that only comes from having experienced pain and loss yourself.”

Choose grace.

Ready or not, we are regularly presented in life with choices about who to accept as friends, who to vote for, where to live, and where to spend our money.

I have learned in my 70 years some surprising things that now influence my decisions. I have had life-changing friendships with many people who are very different from me. My life is richer because of these friends. I hope to live in such a way that if I am ever forced to choose between passing judgment and living with grace, I will choose grace after the example of Jesus in the Bible. Even though others criticized him, Jesus ate meals with tax collectors who were hated by many because they worked for the Roman government. Jesus dared to heal lepers even when others were afraid to go near these persons who were thought to carry a life-threatening disease. Jesus took time to welcome and love little children even when there were other important things to do. I believe life will be better for you and others if we all practice loving others as Jesus did.

I really like the official welcoming statement at the church where your family belongs:

Welcome Statement: As God loves and accepts all, we welcome everyone regardless of race, ethnicity, age, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity and expression, physical or mental ability, relationship status, education, economic circumstance, or any other designation, chosen or assigned. Whether you visit us in person or online, we hope you discover something to encourage your spiritual journey. At this United Methodist Church, all means all.

Being 70 feels like climbing a big mountain and being able to see where I have been and where I am going. I pray that what I have learned so far from my life journey will prove helpful to you.

Love,
Poppa